Thursday, February 28, 2008

I've Got Game

If my wife and I are in a room with a hundred or so people, chances are she is the best looking woman and smartest person in the room. And half the people in the room looking at us are probably wondering "why is that beautiful woman hanging with that big oaf". The answer, which most who know me will find hard to believe, is that I've got game

For example, on the day I met my wife Roxy I was downtown and I saw three tiny vietnamese women running for the bus. At the same time they were yelling to a forth woman who was about a block down the street. The three women boarded the bus and the forth run was running to catch it. Unfortunately some big pedestrians were in her way and the bus driver didn't see her waving her hands and just drove off.

The woman was more than disappointed. She looked scared. I could also tell that she felt small and insignificant. Instantly I knew that this was an opportunity for my game. Like a lot of people my game begins by offering to do a favor. But it goes deeper. To be really effective the favor must be offered in a time of need. And this was such a situation.

I walked up to her and asked her if I could give her a ride. She said something back to me in Vietnamese. As I suspected, she didn't speak English and had no idea what I just said to her. So I got down on my hands and knees and motioned for her to get on my shoulders, and she did. You might think this is kind of wierd but in Vietnam human powered taxis are common and I knew this. As I stood up I looked in store window and saw a sense of relief come over her face as she wiped tears from her eyes.

The next task was to figure out where to take her. Since she couldn't speak English it wasn't easy for her to tell me which way to go but eventually we found a way to communicate. When she wanted me to turn right she pulled one ear and when she wanted be to turn left she pulled the other ear. She pulled both ears when she wanted me to stop. Luckily she knew how to say "go" and she said it with authority.

Seven miles and two and a half hours later we arrived at her doorstep where her mother and two sisters were waiting. I lifted her over my head and put her down on the ground. When she turned around and looked up at me I saw more than gratitude in her eyes -- I saw love.

So what happened? How did this woman fall in love with me in just two and a half hours? Well it turns out that I did more than offer to do a favor in a time of need. I reached inside and satisfied her deepest psychological need. You see, like a lot of small people, what Roxy really needs is someone to boss around. And the bigger that someone is the more that need is satisfied. My game was to give her what she really needed and I did this by allowing her to boss me around for two and a half hours while she rode me home.

Now some of you reading this probably think that I made up this story -- and maybe I did. But you may have also noticed that every once in a while Roxy reaches over and pulls my ear. She does this both in fond rememberance of the day we met and to remind me that she is the boss.


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