Roxy and I were in the Fashion District shopping for Bethany's birthday when the person with the most famous butt in the world walked by – Jennifer Lopez. I felt a strange urge to grab her butt but resisted – for a minute – and then gave into temptation.
As you can see, Jennifer wasn't happy. Her security detail wasn't happy either and a guard who looked like he belonged in the WWWF came over and we had words.
We were about to get into it when Jennifer noticed how upset Roxy was that I grabbed her butt. Eventually Jennifer calmed her down by convincing Roxy that her butt was just as nice and only slightly smaller.
We left and walked to Times Square. I was just starting to think that I had gotten away with groping Jennifer Lopez when I was arrested by the NYPD.
They took me away without a word. Roxy scrambled to the top of the Rockefeller Building by ladder so she could see where they were taking me.
When she got back-down she realized that I was carrying the credit cards and money so she couldn't bail me out. So she went down to the Esplanade on the Hudson River and did tricks for the tourists until she raised my bail money.
They had taken me to the precinct by Central Park. In jail I was afraid to go to the bathroom so the first thing I did when I got out was run across the street to take a leak.