Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Why I Believe In Magic

My wife and I originally purchased the Magic Wand as a sex toy, and as such, it is unsurpassed. However we have found other uses for the gadget besides its obvious use as a massager.

Relief from Burn Pain

One day I burned myself and decided to try distraction to get through the pain. I applied the Magic Wand to one of my feet and to my amazement the pain disappeared completely. I removed the Magic Wand and the pain returned. I thought this was kind of interesting so I tried the experiment several times with the same result. Eventually I just held the Magic Wand to my foot for about 15 minutes and at the end of that time my burn pain was gone. I asked my doctor what caused this phenomena and he said that my brain was probably receiving so much stimulation that is was unable to process it all and consequently didn’t process the pain.

This made me wonder what other kinds of pain it might be good for. I don’t find myself in a lot of pain though and I am not going to volunteer for any, but if you are feeling pain try it and let me know if it works.

I think there might also be an opportunity here for an invention. Wouldn’t it be cool if hospital beds could be equipped with a vibrating device that could be applied to the feet and/or hands? Perhaps it could serve as a substitution for addictive pain killers in some circumstances. If I was a mechanical engineer I would consider patenting such a device.

Clears Sinuses

If there is one thing that interferes with my sleep more than anything else it clogged sinuses. How many times have you had clogged sinuses and went to blow your nose and couldn’t get a damn thing out? This is where the Magic Wand can help. Apply the Magic Wand to the tip of your nose or to your face on either side of your nose. It will induce a sneeze and you will then be able to blow your nose successfully. Repeat this action multiple times until your sinuses are clear. Afterwards spray some Saline solution into your nose so that it doesn’t dry out. In my not-so-humble opinion, the Magic Wand is definitely a superior solution for clogged sinuses than addictive drugs like Afrin and NeoSenefrin.

Sleep Aid

That fact that the Magic Wand can clear your sinuses, relax your muscles, and deliver mind-blowing orgasms qualifies it as a sleep aid. I wonder if it helps with depression.