Saturday, September 20, 2008

Bush Wants $700 Billion For Bail Out

Bush wants Congress to authorize as much as $700 billion to buy troubled mortgage-related assests. This is an obscene transfer of money from tax payers to financial institutions. I think there is a better was to handle this crisis and it should have been done a long time ago.

CONGRESS NEEDS TO OUTLAW PREDITORY BUSINESS PRACTICES. For example, I am willing to bet that almost everyone who can't pay their mortgages also has a pile of credit card debt and that they are paying like 29.9% interest on that borrowed money. That's obscene. Credit card companies should only be allowed to charge a maximum of 12% interest. They should not be allowed to raise the interest rate on existing debt. They should not be allowed to charge interest on fines. And if there is debt at more than one interest rate on the card, the debt should be rotated out in the order that it was acquired, rather than the lowest interest rate debt first.

Putting a 12% cap on credit card debt would put hundreds of dollars a month in the hands of many struggling homes owners that could keep them from going into foreclosure.

And what about those cell phone contracts? And how about reinstating the uptake rule?

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Adventure In Manhattan

Roxy and I were in the Fashion District shopping for Bethany's birthday when the person with the most famous butt in the world walked by – Jennifer Lopez. I felt a strange urge to grab her butt but resisted – for a minute – and then gave into temptation.

As you can see, Jennifer wasn't happy. Her security detail wasn't happy either and a guard who looked like he belonged in the WWWF came over and we had words.

We were about to get into it when Jennifer noticed how upset Roxy was that I grabbed her butt. Eventually Jennifer calmed her down by convincing Roxy that her butt was just as nice and only slightly smaller.

We left and walked to Times Square. I was just starting to think that I had gotten away with groping Jennifer Lopez when I was arrested by the NYPD.

They took me away without a word. Roxy scrambled to the top of the Rockefeller Building by ladder so she could see where they were taking me.

When she got back-down she realized that I was carrying the credit cards and money so she couldn't bail me out. So she went down to the Esplanade on the Hudson River and did tricks for the tourists until she raised my bail money.

They had taken me to the precinct by Central Park. In jail I was afraid to go to the bathroom so the first thing I did when I got out was run across the street to take a leak.

The end.